We have grown up reading fairy tales and watching romantic films where the ever-valiant and good-
hearted prince crosses seven seas to find her princess, fights battles, overcomes challenges, sings
songs, and takes her away to live happily ever after, no matter what. But, what about all the fights,
differences and struggles, big or small, that they faced after they settled together? No one ever told
us about that.
Ironically, this ignorance leaves a different impression of relationships in our mind, one that can only
be fantasized and not lived. And, we start expecting and craving for a relationship just like a fairy
tale, resulting in scarring them and fighting more than we actually mean to.
So, what can be done? Are there some magical ways to make our relationship strong and intimate,
just like those in the fairy tales? Yes. Here we go-
Together but individual
Your dreams of a romantic relationships are broken when you shift the responsibility of your
happiness to your partner. The trick is to stick to your individuality and assume responsibility
for your relationship while using the relationship to feel complete and whole. Remember to
spend some time with yourself and give your partner the needed space to feel happier in the
Speak your mind
Often in a relationship, we listen to our partner even though we do not agree to it. At first,
we think that we are doing it out of love but over the years this act of going against our own
will makes us bitter and resentful. It is important that we speak our mind and tell our
partner how we feel about a certain thing. Speak about what you both can do together,
what are your collective goals, what kind of life do you want to create and live together.
Discuss the various aspects of your life and how would you want to experience them as a
Intimacy begins with acceptance
As per a research, when people were asked about their long-term goal in a relationship,
intimacy scored the highest, even better than passion. Intimacy means exposing yourself
with all your good and bad to your partner, being vulnerable and letting him know who you
actually are, what you think and feel, so that you can develop a bond of mutual trust,
respect, care, comfort and love. Though, in order to let intimacy flow in, you will have to
accept the person just as she/he is, without any judgements or need for change. This will
allow you to open up, speak your mind and share your deepest emotions and fears.
Acceptance is the biggest step towards building a strong & intimate bond.
Break the routine
Staying together for many years might lead you to boredom as you follow the same routine
from morning to night. To keep the spark alive, break the monotony and find some newness
in each other or things around. A great way to do it is to plan an exciting goal together like a
luxurious vacation and start planning and saving for it. Small things like setting up a beautiful
table or throwing a surprise party can also do the trick.
With rising demands of life and the mounting stress and tiredness, we often forget to take
out time to connect and communicate. Never let that happened to your relationship. Talk
frequently, set aside a routine to connect daily and make time for deep, emotional and
intimate communications to keep your relation going stronger.