Once a very important guest was about to visit home and I remember trying to do my best to put
everything in order. So, I was instructing how the flowers must be placed, food must be cooked,
ruminating on what my partner should wear, how my children should behave, and so much more.
Setting aside time from a very busy schedule, I was planning for a perfect evening. But God had
other plans. The weather turned very pleasant and my guests asked us to meet them outside for
dinner.
Ah! Some things are always beyond our control.
This, and many other instances like these when I acted like a control freak, spending precious hours
and energy to make the best of a situation, have taught me how important it is to just let go of the
control and allow yourself to go with the flow.
But before we get there and discover the best ways to surrender, let us first decode the reason
behind this unyielding desire we feel to be in control.
WE WANT TO BE IN CONTROL BECAUSE-
We are scared that if we stop micromanaging things, how will situations and life turn out to
be. Fear of the unknown is the biggest reason we want to be in control.
We always assume that what we want for ourselves is the best thing that can happen to us.
So, we want to be in control and make sure that we achieve that. While the reality is that if
you stop controlling things and leave it to the Universe, a possibility that you couldn’t
foresee or didn’t even know existed, might open up for you.
WHY LET GO OF THE CONTROL?
When you try to control, in reality, you are less in control.
Once I was trying to control a fight between my two best friends. In their argument, my temper
spiked, I felt an adrenaline rush, my breath became shallow and I felt anxious and stressed. I kept
oscillating between the past and future, wondering why did they break into a fight and what if they
don’t patch up, hardly aware of the present moment. Isn’t that what trying to be in control does to
us? Our awareness, health and consciousness simply go for a toss.
But when we trust the Universe and surrender to its plans, all this anxiety, discomfort, adrenaline
rush, lack of concentration, shaking of legs, anger, bad temper, etc. disappears. We feel calm. Deep
relaxing breaths become the norm and clarity seeps in. We are aware of this very moment and live in
it fully, without crying over the past or worrying about the future.
Surrender, clearly puts you more in control than control ever has.
We live in a friendly Universe that is always working for us. When you surrender to it, you achieve a
lot more happiness, success, love, money and so much more than being in control. You are no longer
fighting against the tide but flowing with it and letting it decide your course.
HOW TO SURRENDER?
Letting go of the control is often mistaken with inaction. Surrender doesn’t mean to just stay put. It
means to act without worrying about the outcome. It means trusting the Universe completely and
what it unfolds for you. You just need to go with the flow and keep doing what you are meant to do.
To let go of the control, here are few things that you must ask yourself and internalize:
What will fall apart when I am not in control?
Think of the worst case scenario. What will happen if you stop micromanaging? You will be
surprised to notice that the outcome isn’t as bad as you had imagined. This will help you to
drop your fear.
Are you trying to control someone else’s business?
That evening, I was trying to control what my wife would wear, what my help would cook
and how my children would behave. Things that were not my business. Most of the time, we
are busy micromanaging and wasting time on things that are neither about us, nor in our
control.
How would letting go feel like?
Peace, Freedom. Calm. Relaxed. These are the few feelings that the thought of surrender
evokes in me. Think about what it makes you feel.
