That awful feeling of feeling stuck- I am sure that it is not unknown to you.
When you are so low that it looks almost impossible to get up again, when life doesn’t seem to go anywhere, when you know that you have to move forward but you just can’t. Confusion, frustration, misery, negativity, sadness, all piling up one after the other- all just pointing out to one thing – you are badly stuck.
But what if it isn’t as bad? What if you have stretched the whole thing out of proportion? And you can pull it off with a mere shift in perception?
What is being stuck?
Being stuck is just a perception, an idea that you have created in your mind. You are stuck nowhere but in your head. It is when you have formed a certain perception about how life should be and that doesn’t get fulfilled. Your mind wants to control everything outside of you but can’t and you start feeling that things are not working for you. The more you think about it, the more you feel stuck.
Once a lady came to visit me thinking that she was stuck. She was yearning to go back to work but did not know how to manage her kid who would be left behind. There seemed to be no solution to her problem. So, she stayed back at home feeling utterly stuck. I helped her to approach the problem with a different angle and encouraged her to look for a reliable support system that could look after her kid while she went to work. I showed her how millions of other women are doing it. This brought her the much needed clarity and helped her to break the shell feeling unstuck.
Feeling stuck? Relax, it is normal
You are not the first person who is feeling stuck, nor the last. This is a very common feeling amongst people. So, don’t worry if you are also going through the same. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. This feeling is not going to stick to you forever. Stop running away from it.
Instead, accept what you are feeling. Go through the emotions. Surrender to the fact that you cannot control anything outside of you. The only control that you have on is on your own mind. Once you realise this, you will know that being stuck is just a game of your mind. Your mind is telling you that you are stuck because things did not happen as it had planned. It is in your power to change what you feel and let go of this nasty feeling. Take control. Choose to let go.
It’s all about perspective
Do you feel stuck when you lose a job you loved most? But I see it is an opportunity to rise, learn from what I did wrong in my previous job and become a better version of myself. What makes you feel stuck liberates me. That is the power of perspective.
Whenever you are stuck, it is important to look at things from a larger perspective. Step at a distance from all the drama and try to approach the situation differently. If you cannot do it yourself, ask for help. Check what your mom would have felt had she been in your place. Ask a friend, your kid or a colleague. Sometimes the solution is this close but we cannot see it unless we see it with a different lens.
Choose to move forward
When you feel stuck, you have only two choices- to stay there and feel like this forever or to move forward. Often, we resist moving forward. We resist letting go of things. We stop things from changing for the fear of change.
But understand that nothing is going to change unless you decide to move. Take risks, explore, walk on different paths, fall, rise up again but keep moving. That is the only way to get out of it.
Be kind to yourself
If things are not happening your way, you are already in an emotional mess. This is a time to be kind to yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard. Give it some time. Take a break. Ask for help. And remember that this is momentary. This too shall pass.