What do you do when you feel low, awful, angry, irritable, jealous and simply unhappy?
What is your first reaction?
For most people, it is to supress their emotions and look out for a quick and easy distraction to find temporary relief. But do you know that the instinct to ignore your negative emotions and not responding to them as you should, later makes it extremely difficult for you to cope up with them?
Doing this constantly has led many people into compulsive behaviours including alcoholism, workaholism, drugs, compulsive sex, compulsive binge-watching, eating disorders and much more.
“What else can I do? Is there any other way to cope up?”, can be your next question.
Let me help you find an answer to this.
What will you do if your loved one is sad and awful? Will you distract him or pay attention to his emotion?
The answer is clear.
Self-compassion and self-care is the proven mechanism to overcome your negative emotions. Unless you pay heed to them, they will not go away. The only way to handle them is to know them, feel them and let them die their natural death.
Postponing negative feelings can only make them worse
What happens when you try to supress your emotions?
You suffer more. “Isn’t it?”
Trying to overcome your feelings by pretending that they are not there will only aggravate your pain and grief. Though it may offer temporary relief, the feelings will bounce back sooner or later with greater intensity.
Resisting negative emotions will reduce the intensity of positive emotions
Not acknowledging the sad and troublesome emotions will reduce your ability to experience joy and bliss in full strength. This is because we are humans, with a wide range of emotions, born to experience all of them equally. Unless we know what sadness, jealousy, fear and anger feels like, how will we ever able to experience glee, love and compassion in full capacity?
A half-lived life
When you supress a negative emotion, it gets stuck in your subconscious mind. Despite numerous trials to live a normal and happy life, that feeling of numbness never leaves your subconscious. You are always scared that it will resurface and engulf you once again. As a result, you are never truly happy and content.
Aren’t these reasons enough to change our attitude towards our negative emotions and start dealing with them more seriously. That doesn’t mean that you need to suffer through them. But certainly, it means that you need to equip yourself with desirable tools and mechanisms to cope up with them.
How to cope up with negative emotions
Let me take you through a few very effective ways to feel your emotions in full and live a happier, more fulfilled life-
- Heartbreaks and failures are the best teachers in life. They help us to grow. So, treat every negative experience and the emotion that comes with it as a ladder to success and personal growth.
- Observe your feelings. Don’t haste. Take time and experience them. Do not judge them. Do not develop a perspective about them. Just be there and feel them. Soon, you will realize the hidden meaning behind them. They might be indicative of a long-lost dream that you always wanted to pursue or the true purpose of your life.
- Be in gratitude. Think about the small gifts of life and feel thankful about them. In just a few minutes, the positive emotion of gratitude can permanently wipe of all the negative emotions juggling within you.
- Love yourself just as you would express your love, compassion and care to someone in the same situation. Be kind and care about what you are going through. Eventually, with self-love, the negativity will pass and be taken over by positive feelings.
- Sharing can lower down your pain. Confide about your feelings to a close friend or family. Taking support during these moments are a tell-tale sign of strength.
- Write your feelings in a journal. Express everything that you are going through. Vent out your anger, sadness, tears and let your emotions flow with the pages.
Every emotion is important and should be felt and experienced to live a full life. Here is your handbook to live yours well.
Cheers to the freedom to feel your emotions.