My fondest childhood memories are of hearing my mom and dad conversing. Every evening when my dad came back from the office, they sat together and spoke endlessly. I loved to see the sparkle in their eyes.
Smartphones didn’t exist then. Love did.
Communication was free-flowing. Eye contact was a must. Distraction was less and people paid attention to their spouse’s words & feelings.
Fast forward to today. Smartphones are a reality. A reality that is spoiling relationships.
How is smartphone affecting relationships?
As per a study, 88% of married couples in metropolitan cities agree that smartphone is causing trouble in their relationships. One-fifth of their entire day is spent on smartphones leaving them with insufficient time for their partner. As many as 84% of respondents agreed to be addicted to their smartphones and cited it as a reason for not being able to give enough time to their spouse.
While 73% of partners said that their spouses complained about their excessive use of smartphones, 66% of them agreed that smartphones were the reason behind a decline in their relationship.
For just once, keep your phones aside and read this blog to create the most wonderful relationship with your partner.
Why are we becoming a smartphone addict?
The survey shows that while many people realise how smartphones are drifting them apart from their partners, they are still unable to give up on the addiction.
Why is it so?
This is called the dopamine effect. When we use our phones for long hours, our brain releases an addictive hormone that helps us to derive maximum pleasure, satisfaction, and joy from it. We become over-dependent on it and staying away from it begins to feel extremely painful. Each time we try to stop using the phone, withdrawal symptoms like stress, anxiety, anger and mood swings
start surfacing.
Why are smartphones causing a rift between partners?
How many times have you caught your partner pretending to listen to you while he/she is actually on their phone?
Communication does not just mean lending an ear to mere words. It means looking into your spouse’s eyes, noticing their body language, watching their expressions, gauging their tone and most importantly understanding the underlying emotions wrapped in words.
However, being extremely engrossed in your phone prevents you from giving undivided attention to your spouse and communicating as you should. Resultantly, your partner feels cheated and rejected. He feels less deserving and important as compared to the phone. The hurt, anger, and rejection can keep growing over time as you continue to use your phone for long periods. A rift is the obvious outcome.
Does the phone ring a suspicion amongst partners?
What happens when a phone call interrupts your conversation with your partner, and he hurriedly moves aside to answer it? Or how do you react when your partner surfs his phone after you are asleep?
Isn’t suspicion the natural outcome?
While your spouse may just be attending to regular business, you start thinking otherwise. Keeping your passwords, a secret is another big cause of igniting suspicion amongst husband and wife.
How to mend relationship issues caused by a smartphone?
There are three things that make up a good marriage- accessibility, responsiveness and engagement amongst the partners. A spouse longs to feel loved, cared for, important and belonged. Excessive use of smartphones interferes with these elements making either of the partners feel insecure, jealous, anxious, disappointed, angry, or depressed.
The first rule to mending your relationship is to remove the root cause. You can start by setting healthy boundaries regarding phone usage. Just giving 30 minutes of undivided attention everyday can play wonders in your marriage and fix broken relationships. Also, try sharing your password. Doing this is likely to eliminate the feelings of suspicion and insecurity, replacing it with trust and
confidence.
How can we control cell phone usage?
Cell phones are tempting. But setting a few easy-to-follow rules can help you to control your urge to use them every few minutes. Let us list down a few of them for you-
When in a conversation with your spouse, always give your 100%
Set aside 30 minutes every day for your relationship. Keep your phone aside or put it in aero plane mode during this time.
Start your day with holding each other instead of checking your phone
Leave your phone at home while going for a walk or long drive
Once home, silence your official notifications
Never walk away from a conversation because of a phone call
Acknowledge the fact that your spouse has a life apart from you and respect his/her personal space
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