Relationship with spouse- from hell to harmony


Everyone wants a perfect marriage- an excellent relationship with their spouse and absolutely no fights; leave alone broken relationships. Isn’t it? However, most experience difficulties in their marriages time and again. Husband-wife start to fight, blame and love vanishes. But why? What goes wrong?

The whole thing starts with expectations. It’s when spouses, instead of giving love to each other start expecting it from each other. When we want the other to do something or behave in a certain way we like..when we try to squeeze happiness from each other by changing the other person and make them exactly like us. And when someone does not change as we want, the blame game begins, people take offense and start justifying .

If we are truly so obsessed with how we live, wouldn’t it be better to marry a robot who can follow our directions precisely. Do you really think that can make you happy?  It’s important to understand here that no one but you can make yourself happy. Your happiness comes from your inner state and not from anyone else.

As humans, we are meant to be different. Each one has a different genetic brain design which simply cannot be altered. This decides how he/she will behave, think, perceive or react. It’s just like blood group. Do you question why your spouse’s blood group doesn’t match yours? Then why reason out the difference in your genetic brain designs? People are designed differently and this cannot change. The moment you can accept this you will stop expecting your spouse to share your view point. That is when you will start respecting the differences and harmony in relationship will set in. So, get started with these points:-

1. Focus on your spouse’s positive qualities, what you focus on grows

2. Try to view the situation from his/her view point. This will evoke acceptance, compassion, and unconditional love

3. Remember that people cannot change. Just accept them as they are

4. There is no 50-50 responsibility in marriage. It’s your marriage and you need to take 100% responsibility for its success.

Writen by Peyush Bhatia, who is a lifecoach supporting people in reaching their highest potential . She specializes in helping people dealing with depression n relationship issues. You can contact her at 9205658544 or visit her website